Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Date Fail #7 - The Vanishing Act(s)

I don't know if the guys I'm meeting are closet magicians but a surprising number of them disappear.

A benefit of online dating that I've just recently realized is that it filters out some guys.  If they email and email but never ask for your number - DONE.

If they get your number and text but never ask you out or make plans -DONE.

If they make plans and never follow through - DONE.

What is it about guys that make them think they can totally disappear for a couple weeks, then text again and I'll jump up excited to hear from them?  Do I look like a puppy? (Don't answer that.) If you want someone you can ignore who still thinks your amazing, get a dog.  If you're really interested in seeing me, don't vanish.

I will regale you with an example of the vanishing act:

"Moto" and I met online.  Started texting and talking on the phone, an act that always earns a bonus point.  If you remember you can call and not just text, you're moving up the ranks already.

We went out on a first date of go kart racing and mini golf. He turned up just as represented in his profile, another nice surprise though it shouldn't be.  It's amazing how short six foot often is, eye roll. At the end of the date we hugged and said we should do it again.  The next week was a Mariners game.  Good time, good convo.  At the end there was another "we should do this again".  In a text a couple days later we set up for Tuesday after Memorial day.

Tuesday came and went without a text, a call, a carrier pigeon.  Ok, wrote him off.  Whatever.

Then comes the reappearing act.  Three weeks later I get a text on a Friday evening asking if I wanted to get together for billiards that night.  Needless to say I already had plans.  Then a week later I got another text that just said "Just checking in to say hi". 

That's a head scratcher.  He'd blown off our date, hadn't talked to me in weeks but felt the need to check in??  Huh.  Um. Oooookkaaaaaayyyyyy.

If you drop off the face of the earth while it's still the "courting" part of our relationship, don't bother calling four weeks later.  The only take away I get from that is that you didn't find me an adqeuate match, which is your right and decision, but after several more weeks of looking you don't find anyone else who is a better match so you scroll through your old messages, stumble upon my name and hope that I won't remember you blew me off for something better.

This isn't a single act of disappearance. I've had a couple other dates show that maybe there are more magicians out there than I thought.  Expect to read about those in the next couple posts.

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