Monday, July 16, 2012

Date Fail #3 - Beige

The color beige is fairly non-descript and non-offensive.  It's also not interesting.

I was contracted through an online dating site by Beige.  He wanted a date to his military ball, the next Friday.  I figured, for good or for bad, it would be an interesting first date so why the hell not?!  It took three days before he mentioned the details and we realized that the ball started in Tacoma at 5pm.  I didn't finish work until 5 in Renton.  That meant with changing and driving through traffic, I wouldn't arrive before 7.  The ball on Friday was scrapped in favor of a Mariners game on Thursday.

He picked me up and instead of ringing the doorbell he sent me a text from the car.  Strike one.

On the drive up he told me all about his military disability (hearing loss), the pneumo-thoraxes he got in high school, the vertigo he suffers from, how he'd been hurt before and didn't trust people.  Strike two.  

I picked out and paid for the tickets.  He paid for the food.  The weather was nice, the Mariners weren't winning but that's wasn't a surprise.  We found our seats and the conversation ran out about fifteen minutes later. 

Our neighbors in the bleechers were three familys with five young kids among them.  Since I attract children like flowers attract bees it wasn't long until I was talking with the kids and their parents.  One mom was a school teacher.  The kids shared their cotton candy.  Then Ray struck up a conversation about beer.  He was the cutest of the three dads.  He was friendly but not overly so.  We talked about different types of beer and local microbrews.  He asked if we were together and I said it was a first date.  He asked how the date was going.  It got so quiet I swear I could hear the umpires blinking. 


All the wives and kids disappeared to the play area.  I talked with all three dads about beer, the upcoming Freemont street fair, etc.  As they were leaving Ray asked for my info so we could hang out. Yup, just got hit on by a married guy while I was on a date with someone who couldn't maintain a conversation.

I only traded a couple emails with Ray but it served to emphasis how bland Beige was. 

The drive home wasn't as awkward as I expected but the drop off was.  Beige pulled up to my house and left the motor running.  I opened the door and was half out of the car when he said "What? No hug?"  He was still in the car. Nothing more romantic than an "in the car, over the stick shift, first date ending hug".  My hands were full and I said that it was not an easy way to hug.  He didn't make a move to get out of the car.  Strike three. You're out.

I was relieved that he never called.

1 comment:


    I loved this.

    Gonna have to go back a bit and see what I missed.