Wednesday, August 08, 2012

Date Fail #9 - Aye, aye Captain.

If you live on a boat, you should tell people you live on a boat.  That is an important bit of information for someone who is considering dating you.  Having a boat is not the same as having a boat that is also your house. I'm not talking about a house boat either.  I'm talking about a motor boat that you live on.

A couple of weeks ago I had a first date with "Union". We'd talked a couple times on the phone the week before the date.  He was pleasant, interesting, he got points for putting some thought into where we were going to eat.

He picked me up and looked nothing like his profile photos.  That wasn't entirely bad since those photos were a bit cryptic but it wasn't good either.  Anyone who knows me has probably heard my homeless lumberjack beard rant.  Union didn't have a beard  that qualified but he did have a beard.  I am not a beard girl.

He also showed up in cowboy boots.  (eyebrow raised).  Not an immediate disqualifier but something to note.  As we drove to Seattle I couldn't help but notice that he looks like a Norwegian Fishing boat captain. Well, at least what I thought a stereotypical one would look like. He had a deep side part, a full but tidy beard, short teeth with little spaces between them and was in need of a navy coat.  Sort of a cross between this:

and this:

but blonde and mid-thirties which also needs some of  this:

The date was fine.  Good conversation, great Indian food. We scaled Queen Anne hill to go to a cool bar.  After the bar I was ready to go home but he insisted on showing me his boat.  Now there had been mentions of the boat before, but what he failed to mention is that it was where he is living and by taking me to the boat he was essentially taking me to his place. 

We didn't spark like I would want and the presumption to take me home to a non-house home in a sneaky way so I didn't realize that was what was happening?  Not cool.  I demonstrated my exhaustion, which wasn't feigned, and finally got him to take me home.

One half-assed text three days later from him and my reply a day after that means we can add him to the list of first dates.

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