Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Is it 1812?

I admit, I'd been out of the dating arena for a while.  Dating overseas, as an expat, is very different business.  I was in a long term relationship that ended not long before I left the States which means I was last actively dating and living the US in about 2003. I think dating has changed while I was away.  Consider the following:

Many guys seem to be waiting to be invited/asked out.  They are not longer the ones asking and making plans.  They seems to heem and haw around until I ask, and then they want me to set all the details.

There are many guys who are content with weeks (and weeks) of texting or emailing before ever meeting. On top of that, few of them ever pick up the phone to call. Texting is not a replacement for a spoken conversation!

First date attempts are at an all time low.  Less than a quarter of my recent dates have ended in a kiss.  For the dates that did, few of them were the ones I would have wanted to kiss me (isn't that always the way??). No more arm around shoulder, a kiss or any physical contact. **I do like the idea of getting to know someone but how long should it really take before you want to make a move?

Contrarily, there are few compliments and door holding. There is also a decidedly casual style of dress.  It used to be that a gentleman would at least put on khaki's and a polo to show you that he was trying.  Now, or maybe specifically in Seattle, flip flops and a t-shirt is close enough.  I know Seattleites are decidedly caa-sshhh, but trade in the fleece for something first impression worthy. If you can't make the effort on the first date, when will you?

There fore I am left in a state of confusing, not knowing where we should be sitting on a chaperoned date in my mother's parlor, or if the dating scene has changed so drastically that I am no longer adapted to it.

If anyone has insight, an explanation or advice, send it my way would ya?


  1. Why 1812 specifically? Is it an important date in American history for a reason I don't know. The only thing I know about 1812 is the Scorched Earth triumph of Russia beating Napolean's vastly larger army, signalling the start of the downfall of that great European Empire.

  2. MJW - 1812 is two hundred years ago. It is also a time in the era of courting, in contrast to current dating.