If you message me via a dating site, I expect that you are interested in meeting. Actually in person. I am not the kind of woman who wants to message endlessly. You have a window of opportunity to ask me out. It doesn't have to be the first time you message, though that is acceptable. If it's been two weeks and there has not been a set date, we're done and I'm moving on. The one exception is that one of the two of us is out of town. You still have to have asked within two weeks, but it could be a bit farther out that we meet.
I've met a few procrastinators lately. One guy started messaging me and after a few messages we set a day, a Tuesday. I was working in West Seattle, he was working in Bellevue. After work drinks then. I asked on Saturday when and where we wanted to meet. He said he wanted to leave it loose. I said ok. Monday evening I messaged again and got a message that said, we'll just leave it til tomorrow. . . oh and by the way, I have a networking thing until 8:30. My response: 1 - it's within 24 hours, no more leaving it loose. And 2 - WTF? now you mention you have plans? I'm not sitting around after work for three hours for you to wrap up a networking event. Oh, all the sudden the networking event can be skipped. Can we still me?
No.
Some people might call me a bitch. I call it demanding to be treated with respect. You wouldn't expect your friends to wait around for you without a plan. It's disrespectful of my time and plans to "leave things loose". You are assuming I have nothing else to do but wait around for you and fit my lief into your schedule.
Don't do that.
He was just the worst offender, but not the only procrastinator as of late.
The real kicker? He messaged Wednesday, after I didn't see him Tuesday. He apologized and said he was sorry things didn't work out. Maybe coffee later in the week. I left the possibility open. We talked about Saturday. Again, he didn't set any details. I finally got a text a noon on Saturday asking to meet at 3pm. Really? Seriously? I haven't bothered to write anything since.
Not to be a spoilsport but is online dating even safe??
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty paranoid about things like this and it definitely sounds shady.
But I wouldn't worry much about this guy,he doesn't seem the kind of person you'd want to keep near for too long anyway and you have every right to be angry!
Move on!Cheerio!
Online dating is as safe as you make it. If you meet your date in a dark secluded alley, or drink way too much and let him drive you home, or generally don't use any common sense, then yes, it's very unsafe. When I meet someone for the first (and second and third time) it's at a bar or restaurant that is busy, in an area I am comfortable with and can navigate. I may have a drink or two but I make sure I can manage myself and that I am ready to leave if things start to feel wrong.
DeleteI have already moved way on! Thanks :)