The time between university and now seems fairly clear in my mind though enough has happened to fill a book (or two). That recent span has broken my life into segmented epochs. There is life before and after dad's death. That was really the first dividing line. The first era was a time when he was still in my life in an active way (I think of him often now but it's not exactly an active relationship). That era also includes the eons-long year he was sick. I will never look at February 26, 2004 as any day other than when he died and my life changed. Everything since then, consciously or not, has had a tinge of it, of my missing father. Like a single drop of dye in a bathtub of water, it makes things look different though the core may be the same.
The second epoch break is the line of before/with and after my ex. The former is in Seattle and Salt Lake City, the latter includes Seattle, Guatemala, Spain and now Indonesia. I'm not bitter about it, and for that I'm grateful. I've learned what I think I should have. I've processed the event(s) and can talk about them now, though I usually don't. It was easy to say in the moment that I wished it wasn't happening, that it never had. Life teaches lessons always by doing first, and contemplating after. Lesson learned, class completed, moving on.
Pretty much everything before high school graduation gets lumped together. I have a few very fond and well told memories from my childhood but I don't know that I have lots. I am realizing how rubbish my memory is already. I can't wait to get old! I wish now that I had blogged in Spain. I'm sure there are some fantastic stories I've forgotten already. Recently the intervals in life have been easily and clearly demarcated by my physical location. So much so that when I need to remember what year it was, I think were I was and figure it out from there.
Remember it was only last week that I wrote about impatience. Time looking back seems to stretch forever into the abyss. A year ago feels like ages, four seems like an eternity. In firm juxtaposition is the fact that tomorrow is nearly here already. A relative blink of the eye and it will pass into the vast history as well. Its my bloody impatience that makes summer holiday a million, billion, gazillion hours from now (not the fifteen days it really is).
|I remember the one on the left, the slightly David Hasselhoff-esque one on the right is new to me.|