Monday, May 16, 2011

My ten-years-ago self

I'm not sure what brought it on, but I've found myself pondering who I'll be in ten years.  The only conclusion I can come up with is that I don't know but I'll probably be happier with who I am (and hopefully what I'm doing) than I am now if I can project based on the fact that I'm happier now than I was ten years ago.  Happier with who I am and who I'm becoming mostly.

That's not to say I'm not (mildly) happy now.  For the most part, I do like teaching, though I find the Koreans more trying than some students I've taught.  I definitely like living abroad, but again, Jakarta is a bit wearing.  As I look ahead to where I might be, it's inevitable that I also ended up looking back.  Back to myself ten year ago.
Courtesy of

At this time ten years ago I :

I was living in Lawrence, KS with a roommate in a dormitory while attending the University of Kansas as a junior in graphic design.
I had been lied to by someone I was dating long distance and was miserable about it.
I was working three jobs, all at the University.  One in the cafeteria, one at the swimming pool and a third in the stats department.
I hadn't lost anyone important in my life.
I wasn't in touch with anyone from high school even though I was just nineteen as that time.
I didn't call home as much as I should have.
I still didn't get along with my sister.
I wasn't nearly as flexible about anything as I should have been.
I used a computer for email and class work.
I had made plans to transfer back to the University of Washington at home.
I didn't drink.
I had to acknowledge I didn't have my swimmers body any more.
Courtesy of
Five years ago :
I was living in Salt Lake City, Utah, in a house I owned jointly and shared with my now-ex, our two dogs, a cat, some fish, two snakes and a couple of geckos.
I perpetually felt like an outsider without community.
I called home more often but usually in a disastrous state.
I occasionally drank, but never beer.
I had no specific plans for the future other than continuing what I was doing, hoping to change where I was doing it.
I missed my father and my grandmother who had passed away.
I was very confused about how I ended up where I was.
I was nearing the heaviest I've ever been.
I lived in a small bubble.
I had a lot of stuff - books, furniture, knickknacks, enough to fill a house!
I was becoming quickly disillusioned with the path I had chosen to follow.
Courtesy of
This year :
I am living in Jakarta, Indonesia in my own apartment with a pool and a grocery.
I am still pursuing teaching in some manner.
I call or instant message my mom more than anyone else who doesn't live in this city and I miss it when I don't.
I have found common ground with my sister, though we don't talk often.
I am still confused about where I'll go next.
I have friend on three continents, in multiple countries, who I miss very much.
I use facebook daily, but still don't myspace or tweet.
I can roll with the punches and appreciate the conquests more than I ever realized possible.
I continue to fight my little black rain cloud and its depressant effects.
I prefer doing things over having things. 
I am seeing someone.
I have an overactive social life.
I write this blog as regularly as I can.
I drink a lot of beer.
I travel a lot, and go to concerts and meet tons of new fantastic (and sporadically not so fantastic) people.
I probably weigh what I did ten years ago.
I'm also more confident, more global and more experienced.
Things that are constant:
I've tried to learn and improve myself and my surroundings.
I am still a list maker.
Good music is a must.
I still miss those who are gone or just gone away.
Life isn't always easy, but no one ever said it would be this hard. And it is, in a million unique ways.

1 comment:

  1. At least you have an over-active social life.

    I hope in 5 years... no matter where you are... you find happiness.