Friday, September 30, 2011

Ex-boyfriends and best girl friends

Not that my best friends are dating my ex-boyfriends.  These are two separate ideas I'll throw out but seem some how similar in my mind. Both have been an emotional pull this week.
Ex's are always a bit tricky.  Three types I figure:
1 - I've had some who I never saw after the final goodbye.  It made things infinitely easier to be able to walk away knowing the odds I'd run into them in the supermarket or at the pool would be low. 
2 - There were a few I stayed friends with.  It's those rare relationships that sort of mutually fizzle out.  You both realize you still care for and like the other, but you don't love them, and you sure as heck don't want them around every day. 
3 -  The ex's you have mutual friends with.  Ex's who frequent the same places you do. You know you'll run into them it's just a matter or when and where.
4 - Maybe there should be one more, the ex you wish you could get back but I haven't had any of those given a month or two's reflection.

My last ex and I broke up at the beginning of July.  I was unsure how things would go down in the aftermath.  He was quite the ass when things ended (well, before that really but who's counting).  I was away on holiday so much I didn't see him until a week ago. It turns out he's trying to grow a straggly beard and looks awful.  Before you assume it's just me, I'm not the only one who thinks so.  A fantastic friend of mine told him as much to his face.  The girls in general agree he's looking haggard.  Maybe you do reap what you sow.  I was surprised I was nervous knowing I'd see him (I did have a guess when I would).  Since he seems even less interested in seeing or talking to me, it easy to carry on enjoying myself without having an awkward "hello, how are you" moment.  The inevitable ex is one of the least fun parts of a relationship.  At least I've had a triumphal first and second sighting and have definitely moved on.
The second part here is about girl friends.  I have a great group of girls here.  Growing up I always seems to get on better with the boys than the girls.  I played and watched sports.  I took shop class.  I didn't fuss about my hair and clothes.  Tomboy. In Spain and now again in Jakarta I've made some amazing girlfriends.  Girls who show up unrequested when the shit hits the fan, who dance with me at 4 am, who go on holiday and buy trinkets for each other.  We share clothes, hell, we share a lot. We're close.  I love them. . . . but there's a tiny part of me that wonders if I wouldn't be better off with some  uglier friends. 
My girls are beautiful and interesting and funny.  We make fun where we go. They always get hit on.  Recently, and unrelatedly, two of my male friends have decided to hit on/be involved/whatever with two of my female friends.  These are guys I knew first and introduced to the group.  About 98% of me is happy for them, but there's this little bit that wishes I didn't feel like the ugly stepsister. And I do. I can't say I never get hit on.  We were at EP on Wednesday and a properly creepy Brit (what is it with them lately?!) not only stole a kiss- I went in for a cheek and he turned into me intentionally- but also smacked my ass.  I'd only just met him. The good looking guys we see in pubs latch on to the tiny Indo-American, the voluptuous American, the feisty Russian, and on and on and on. I don't need to get hit on or picked up every time, but is once or twice to much to ask?  If I do meet someone, it's when I'm without the competition and as of late, they turn out to be less a catch than I'd like.

Enough for the pity party.  I'll move on and promise you all another blog this weekend to make up for not posting much this week.

1 comment:

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