Baby's got a brand new . . .

car.


I was due for a new car. A new new car.  It took lots of research, a few test drives and of course some bumps along the way.

The great thing about the 1995 Nissan Maxima I was driving is that it was paid for. In recent months it had gotten to the point that I was virtually making a payment a month in repairs.  New tires in April, a new starter in December, an oil leak issue in January. It had 150,000 miles on it.  The engine was replaced at abou 140,000 which is great, except that the rest of the parts weren't. There was a daily alternation of burning oil or burning gas smell.  The whistle of the leak in the sunroof liner was irritating. Every day I was worried that I'd end up on the side of I-5 waiting for a AAA tow truck.

My old car, except my front bumper was maroon and the rear was black.

I started my online shopping about a month ago.  Where to begin.  hmmm.  I'd had the Hyundai Sonata as a rental car in Arizona and like it a lot.  The ride was smooth.  The options plentiful (of course, coming from a car made in the 90's, every car by comparison has a million buttons and options). I knew I definitely didn't want the Ford Focus or Dodge Dart after having both of those as rentals in Spokane. The Nissan Rouge was nice but not a car I'd want to own. 

Eventually I settled on a list to test drive. Hyundai was the first stop.  The Veloster is a hot little two or three door car that is supposed to be driver focused and aimed at "car" people.  I really wanted to like it but at only 138HP @6000rpm it was fairly gutless.  I'd have had to get the turbo model and that seemed like a speeding ticket waiting to happen. It was easily the most disappointing test drive. The Elantra was a nice ride, not amazing but there were some nice options. A small mid-size/big compact that would fit my needs but not necessarily be anything special.

Hyundai Elantra

Next was Mazda.  They market themselves as a fun car.  And the Mazda3 was a fun car to drive.  Small enough to handle well but big enough to hold four comfortably.  The Mazda6 would have been even better, especially as the 2014 had just been released, but at $28,000 MSRP, it was pushing my budget. I didn't even test drive it because I knew I'd have trouble not spending the money.

Mazda3

Kia was next.  It wasn't on my initial list but after reading some good reviews and hearing second- and third-hand what great cars they are, I added it.  I drove the Kia Optima, a chassis twin to the Sonata which makes sense since Hyundai owns 34% of Kia and they are both produced in South Korea. at 200HP@6000rpm, it had plenty of get up and go but a price noticably less than the Sonata or Mazda6 for a comparable size (wheelbase of 110inches). It surprised both 25 and I as we hoped it would perform well but didn't expect it to.

Kia Optima

The last test drive was a Subaru Legacy. 25 has a Subaru and thought I should at least give it a go.  Next to the Veloster, it was the second most disappointing. I felt like I'd be paying for All Wheel Drive that I didn't really need. The ride was bumping and noisy.  It was a wobblier handling too.

Any bets on what I bought?

Naive Bleeding Heart or Sucker?

Last Friday I got my first paycheck from this contract.  Because it was the first, it was a paper check, direct deposit should kick in for the next one. Between work and a beer date, I rushed to the ATM to deposit it. I pulled in to the parking lot (in my tri-colored eighteen year old car that smells like oil/gas) and an African American woman, in her forties with a sling on one arm approached the car.  She asked if she could ask me a question.  I was skeptical but said ok, but it had to be quick.  She started to roll out how she and her husband were trying to provide for their kids and she has pictures of them and yadda, yadda. I had my check and my bank card in hand to go to the ATM and said, "This all has to go to bills".  She said "thank you anyway and than you for being so kind and treating me like a human being".

I crossed the parking lot lane to the ATM.  I had to wait a couple minutes while someone finished up and then I stepped up.  As I did so, a gentleman, maybe in his late 40's-early 50's, very overweight and leaning on a cane stepped up.  He was sweating profusely and laboring under his weight and the weather.  He said he wasn't looking for a hand out.  He wanted to earn some chicken and milk for his kids because the food stamps he got weren't enough.  I was a little flustered trying to listen to him as I followed prompts from the ATM but said I was sorry I didn't have any work to be done at the house.  Again, he thanked me for my time and for being nice.

I understand the logic of their asking/begging at a cash machine because we've all used the line "I don't have any cash", which can be true.  At the ATM, it can't be.  I think the fear/risk outweighs the benefit for them though.  Many people, including myself occasionally, feel nervous with a big check/lots of cash in hand.

There are two things that really struck me about these exchanges that both happened over the matter of about ten minutes.

The first is that both of these individuals, who I don't believe heard or saw the other, thanked me for being nice, listening and treating them like human beings.  Why is that so extraordinary? I am stunned dismayed that the poor are so disregarded in our society, though I am not surprised. When 25 and I went out for New Year's Eve I talked with a homeless man as we waited in line for the show we were going to. He also commented how few people were kind and even just to chat.  I can see that people are on guard because they are expecting to be hit up for money or help.  This gentleman from NYE had a tin out but didn't ask.  He seemed happy to drum and chat away, enjoying that someone had noticed him.

I understand that politicians and society at large has seen the poor and economically disadvantaged as a throw away group.  The bit that breaks my heart is that even as individuals, in a one-on-one situation, people are so dismissive of those who are struggling, even in this time of economic downturn on a massive scale. Thousands and millions of people are hurting financially now and weren't five years ago, there are probably an equal number of folks on the edge of the bubble.  I have the security of knowing that I don't have kids, I do have family to lean on in times of need.  Not everyone is in such a position and I have empathy for those who are striving to survive a difficult time.

Second: why do/did I feel like a heel for not giving them money?  I donate both time and money to charitable groups that suppose a variety of causes, homelessness and hunger among them. I donate to food banks and reusable good to St. Vincent de Paul and Goodwill. I was in a hurry and not obligated to give them money, especially being that that ATM dispenses only twenty dollar bills.  That all considered, twenty or even forty dollars would not have bankrupted me.  It was my first paycheck in about seven weeks as I just started working again. Mentally, I'd already allocated most of the money for bills and such. And yet, four days later, I am still thinking about it.

Camp Out!

For the first time in years I went camping.  As tempting as it is to count a lot of the cheap hostels as camping, though they included a mosquito net, not a tent.

It was a beautiful weekend here in the Pacific Northwest.  The kind that we don't usually get until late July. It was high seventies, low eighties (roughly 23-25 celsius). Most of the campgrounds in Western Washington don't even open until the beginning of May so this is still early season. Since we (we being 25 and I) only had the weekend, we had to find somewhere close.  I stumbled upon a book, the antiquated thing with paper pages, that outlined campground in Washington and within selected Scenic Beach State Park and campground near Silverdale on Hood Canal with views of the Olympic mountains. What a location and less than a two hour drive.

25 hadn't been camping in a year, and we'd not been camping together yet. We both, wisely it turns out, decided to view this trip as a trial.  We were close enough that if we forgot anything really important we could go pick it up but otherwise we'd make a list of things that would be good to bring out the next time.  Only about a dozen items to pick up for next time and nothing that was a showstopper. Lots of things that you have to go camping agin to remember, like a tablecloth, long matches, extra firestarters, and the like. I also was reminded of why you don't just pack flashlights and lanterns, but test them before hand but actually turning them on.  I ended up with a dead headlamp, two dead lanterns, one of which was corroded so badly it was pitched, along with a broken camp chair.  Extra batteries are also on the list.

The highlight of the trip, other than the sun, was when a sea otter ran out of his den, down a felled tree and hopped in the water. The sizeable raccon was a close second.  We also saw some starfish, a couple of cranes (one flew over my house when we arrived back) rounded out the pack. The company was stellar, never boring or frustrated, even when I won at cribbage - which never happens. We listened to the Mariners game on Sunday, we walked by the water looking for crabs and critters, enjoyed roasting marshmallows and reading by the fire until there wasn't enough light left. Aside from the lumpy night's sleep (next time the air mattress is coming along.  We are car camping after all, no need to rely only on a little roll pad), it was a fantastic weekend.

We are already planning for another weekend trip in June, a two nighter if we can manage with work and all. The hope is that the weather will be just as good, though, as Seattlites, we won't expect that and we'll go either way.

Another One

It hadn't occurred to me until I wrote yesterday's post that 25 and I had another milestone in the not very recent past. We bought furniture sort of togetherish.

He is living in a small place that is a mash up of a studio and a one bedroom apartment.  Too many walls for the former, not quite enough for the later. He's been there about six months and wanted it to feel a little homier.  Really, he wanted to be able to offer a person a place to sit that wasn't his bed or the floor. Hence the shopping.

I happen to like both design and shopping so when he asked for some suggestions/my opinion, I happily gave him both. The key is that we were looking for something small enough to fit the space but nothing that would be featured in dorm room vogue. He had a few great pieces to build on - a dark wood dresser, a soft, lovely gray rug, cool moulding/trim in the space.

I was able to convince him that a little color and a little pattern could go a long way.  He's got great taste but it's very conventional and safe, see above description of dark wood dresser and gray rug.  End ended up with a chaise that pretty much looks like this:

but in a pale green with blue and marigold accented pattern.  He decided to change lighting from a tall skinny lamp with an upward turned glass shade to this:

which sits in the corner, behind the back of the chaise and gives off a nice glow that is enough to read by. He seems very happy with the choices.  I'm happy he asked me for advice, that he's happy and that I get to sit on it when I go over.

The trip to Arizona together, now sick care, a drawer, a chaise lounge, what's next?

A Drawer

He's got a drawer.
Wikipedia says: A drawer (ⁱ/drɔr/) is a box-shaped container that fits into a piece of furniture in such a way that it can be drawn out horizontally to reach its contents.
I spoke of the delicate dance that dating is yesterday when I said that you can't offer too much help or care too soon.  This falls in to the same catergory. Since we haven't defined what we are doing beyond "dating and enjoying each other's company" the roll out has been slow.  Like hunting, no sudden movements, no loud noises, nothing too drastic or unexpected.

A couple months ago we both acknowledged the need for toothbrushes at each others places.  Other than that, a planned night over came with an overnight bag. Socks, underwear, etc.  The toothbrush could stay, the rest y ou packed back and forth. It was a small, subtle claim that was disposable. If the relationship ended, I would simply throw out the toothbrush. There would be no need to have an awkward meeting to exchange "stuff".

From there we added sweatpants.  We each left a pair of comfy pants at the others house because work pants are not usualy comfy and it's not fair if he gets to be in comfort and I'm in nice (though less comfortable) clothes. I also felt a little strange about being in lounge wear when he was dressed nice because it sort of meant he was a guest. I didn't think of him as a guest, I didn't expect him to act like a guest, yet it was a dividing line. So we went to Target and each bough a pair of pants to leave at the other's house. Mine are grey sweats, his are plaid pj pants.

After spending three days at my place when he was sick, we've realized that a toothbrush and sweatpants might not be enough. Sometimes we end up staying over at the other's house without planning to. To address this I've started leaving a mini-overnight bag (sock, underwear, a clean top and makeup kit) in the trunk of my car, next to my gym bag which lives there too. When 25 last stayed over, I noticed he had three pairs of shoes in his trunk. Apparently he was doing much the same as I was.

He mentioned that "it would be nice" if he could leave a few things.  Internally I thought, "well duh!" externally I said, "of course, that would be fine". And so, he has a drawer.

There hasn't been any talk of drawer reciprocation yet.  He tends to stay at mine more than the opposite, both for a few reasons: geography of work to home, space to spread out, a dog and cat who can't be left alone too long. If I do get a drawer, I wonder what I'll choose to fill it with?

Such a insignificant object for such a significant step.

Wonder which one I'll get?

Bronchitis

Not me thankfully, or not yet anyway.  25 got sick.  It's notable because it's the first "really sick/injured" of our relationship.  We've both had colds, but real sick is different.  Anything that requires a trip to the urgent care is different.

While I'm not happy he got bronchitis, it is a useful measuring stick.  Like I said, it's a milestone. It's great that it didn't happen when we'd only been dating a couple months. That could have ended things.  In my experience, women and very specifically me, tend to want to care for, even mother, a man.  I like to be helpful, offer assistance.  I've learned over the years, through trial and lots of errors plus a little reading (Why men date bitches and the like) you can't do that too soon.  When dating a man, you have to increase those sorts of "taking care of my man" sorts of things slowly, veeerrrrryyyyy sssssssssssssslllllllllllllooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwlllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyy. If you come on too fast/too much, they are like deer - they panic and flee. I can't speak for most women, but I often find that difficult.  I want to help. I have had to very deiliberately scale those efforts back to basics.

25 is like any man.  When he gets the flu is quickly turns in to manflu.  He had that a couple months ago, maybe January.  He had the sniffles, he wanted sympathy. He got a bit and no offers of soup, drugstore runs, etc. This time, with months behind us, it was different.

We both had minor cold symptoms Sunday a couple weeks ago.  I was congested, he had a sore throat.  We didn't really think anything of it.  My stuffy nose and sneezing lasted about four days.  25 was exposed to bronchitis at work and several other co-workers that were sick or had sick partners. He called in stick to work Wednesday and Thursday.  I took him soup on Wednesday night, hung out for a couple hours then went home because I had to get my beauty sleep for early work the next day.

Against my suggestion, he went to work Friday and was, let's say, less than productive.  Over the weekend he stayed at my place, mostly sleeping. He was burning up and had a very persistent cough, though none of the other more cold-like symptoms that I'd had. By Sunday morning he had decided that a trip to the urgent care clinic was warranted, and so it was. Acute bronchitis meant an injection and prescriptions.

The milestone part to all of this is that he let me take care of him.  He said more than once that he'd be/have been a lot worse off without me. He thanked me for being there, for having him at the house and making sure he had gatorade and soup. He seemed to notice that having me in his life for a long time would be a really good thing, beneficial on multiple fronts.

A New Flow

Week two on the newest contract and I'm working on my flow.  With this kind of work, the hours and days tend to change with and without notice. This week for example:

Monday: 07:00 - 17:30 (10.5h)
Tuesday: 12:00 - 20:00 (8h)
Wednesday: 08:00 - 19:30 (9.5h)
Thursday: ??
Friday: 08:00 - 19:30 (9.5h)

Monday, Wednesday, Friday I'm "assisting" in a training class.  I have to get authorized to teach at this facility even though I've taught before (standard operating procedure no matter who the facility is). That it what dictates my hours for those days.  Right now, there is only class 1pm to 5pm but that could and probably will change.  I showed up at 7am today to get ready for an 8am class only to find out that there wasn't an 8am class.  As my department lead says "we are water, we flow with it", which I like.  You won't last long as an Epic contractor if you can't be silly putty - flexible, ready to bend, adaptable and able to copy/memorize.

It's doubly nice that at this project we have lots of dedicated training rooms with hardware that is set up and ready to go. The rooms are roomy with space to spread out, projectors for demonstrations, a box of supplies for each room and individual temperature controls.  It's miles ahead of my last project.  The management seems very different so far aw well and in all the best ways.  They believe us to be the professionals we are. They give us the information and leave us to prepare, not reading it to us like kindergarteners. They understand that sometimes we will need to work more than forty hours per week to prep, clean up, prepare, etc in addition to class hours.  They have a highly rational and logical approach to teaching and management.  The key might be SO FAR, but I have high hopes and my fingers crossed.

Since I'm working, I can no longer go to the gym at 11am.  I'll take advantage to go midday when I can, like tomorrow I'll go about 9 or 10am, but that will be a treat.  Instead I have to figure out when to jam it in to my schedule.  LAst week I got to the gym exactly zero days.  I did run my neighborhood, but nothing the rest of the week.  I saw 25 on Wednesday, went to a brewery for a special tapping with a friend on Thursday, saw 25 over the weekend and now it's Monday. I've got to balance work, the gym and a social life.  I am having a hard time believing I can get up at 4am to work out before driving to work at 6am for a 7am start but afternoon turns into the "buts" and not my butt on the elliptical machine. After work I am prone to "I could/should go to the gym but I'm tired/I have to go shopping/I need to let the dog out/I have to _____". It's easier to find a reason not to go after work. A Mariners game, a date, dinner, exhaustion are all acceptable reasons.  Therefore, it's got to be morning, but MAN! 4am?!?!

I also noticed that the weekend flew by. I'm now playing that age old game of "how to I cram fun and hafto's into just 48 hours"?

Any ideas?