Bronchitis

Not me thankfully, or not yet anyway.  25 got sick.  It's notable because it's the first "really sick/injured" of our relationship.  We've both had colds, but real sick is different.  Anything that requires a trip to the urgent care is different.

While I'm not happy he got bronchitis, it is a useful measuring stick.  Like I said, it's a milestone. It's great that it didn't happen when we'd only been dating a couple months. That could have ended things.  In my experience, women and very specifically me, tend to want to care for, even mother, a man.  I like to be helpful, offer assistance.  I've learned over the years, through trial and lots of errors plus a little reading (Why men date bitches and the like) you can't do that too soon.  When dating a man, you have to increase those sorts of "taking care of my man" sorts of things slowly, veeerrrrryyyyy sssssssssssssslllllllllllllooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwlllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyy. If you come on too fast/too much, they are like deer - they panic and flee. I can't speak for most women, but I often find that difficult.  I want to help. I have had to very deiliberately scale those efforts back to basics.

25 is like any man.  When he gets the flu is quickly turns in to manflu.  He had that a couple months ago, maybe January.  He had the sniffles, he wanted sympathy. He got a bit and no offers of soup, drugstore runs, etc. This time, with months behind us, it was different.

We both had minor cold symptoms Sunday a couple weeks ago.  I was congested, he had a sore throat.  We didn't really think anything of it.  My stuffy nose and sneezing lasted about four days.  25 was exposed to bronchitis at work and several other co-workers that were sick or had sick partners. He called in stick to work Wednesday and Thursday.  I took him soup on Wednesday night, hung out for a couple hours then went home because I had to get my beauty sleep for early work the next day.

Against my suggestion, he went to work Friday and was, let's say, less than productive.  Over the weekend he stayed at my place, mostly sleeping. He was burning up and had a very persistent cough, though none of the other more cold-like symptoms that I'd had. By Sunday morning he had decided that a trip to the urgent care clinic was warranted, and so it was. Acute bronchitis meant an injection and prescriptions.

The milestone part to all of this is that he let me take care of him.  He said more than once that he'd be/have been a lot worse off without me. He thanked me for being there, for having him at the house and making sure he had gatorade and soup. He seemed to notice that having me in his life for a long time would be a really good thing, beneficial on multiple fronts.

A New Flow

Week two on the newest contract and I'm working on my flow.  With this kind of work, the hours and days tend to change with and without notice. This week for example:

Monday: 07:00 - 17:30 (10.5h)
Tuesday: 12:00 - 20:00 (8h)
Wednesday: 08:00 - 19:30 (9.5h)
Thursday: ??
Friday: 08:00 - 19:30 (9.5h)

Monday, Wednesday, Friday I'm "assisting" in a training class.  I have to get authorized to teach at this facility even though I've taught before (standard operating procedure no matter who the facility is). That it what dictates my hours for those days.  Right now, there is only class 1pm to 5pm but that could and probably will change.  I showed up at 7am today to get ready for an 8am class only to find out that there wasn't an 8am class.  As my department lead says "we are water, we flow with it", which I like.  You won't last long as an Epic contractor if you can't be silly putty - flexible, ready to bend, adaptable and able to copy/memorize.

It's doubly nice that at this project we have lots of dedicated training rooms with hardware that is set up and ready to go. The rooms are roomy with space to spread out, projectors for demonstrations, a box of supplies for each room and individual temperature controls.  It's miles ahead of my last project.  The management seems very different so far aw well and in all the best ways.  They believe us to be the professionals we are. They give us the information and leave us to prepare, not reading it to us like kindergarteners. They understand that sometimes we will need to work more than forty hours per week to prep, clean up, prepare, etc in addition to class hours.  They have a highly rational and logical approach to teaching and management.  The key might be SO FAR, but I have high hopes and my fingers crossed.

Since I'm working, I can no longer go to the gym at 11am.  I'll take advantage to go midday when I can, like tomorrow I'll go about 9 or 10am, but that will be a treat.  Instead I have to figure out when to jam it in to my schedule.  LAst week I got to the gym exactly zero days.  I did run my neighborhood, but nothing the rest of the week.  I saw 25 on Wednesday, went to a brewery for a special tapping with a friend on Thursday, saw 25 over the weekend and now it's Monday. I've got to balance work, the gym and a social life.  I am having a hard time believing I can get up at 4am to work out before driving to work at 6am for a 7am start but afternoon turns into the "buts" and not my butt on the elliptical machine. After work I am prone to "I could/should go to the gym but I'm tired/I have to go shopping/I need to let the dog out/I have to _____". It's easier to find a reason not to go after work. A Mariners game, a date, dinner, exhaustion are all acceptable reasons.  Therefore, it's got to be morning, but MAN! 4am?!?!

I also noticed that the weekend flew by. I'm now playing that age old game of "how to I cram fun and hafto's into just 48 hours"?

Any ideas?

The First Week

I have survived my first week of work.

I always forget how tiring work is.  It's frustrating to be out of work but it's tiring to be at work. It's doubly tiring to try to look busy at work.

Now don't mistake me.  I am glad I'm back at work.  I'm glad to be working where I am but at the moment, there isn't a lot for me to be actively working on. Until I get credentialed (a process that is slightly different in each place but basically verifies that I know my stuff well enough and can present it well enough that both Epic, the owners of the software, and my current hospital system both feel that I will be a good representative for them) there isn't much to do. This time is usually used to learn curriculum, training methods, specifics for a specific facility.  I don't mean to brag because that usually gives the universe an opportunity to make you look the fool, but I'm a great trainer.  I don't have to learn training methods. The material here is about 95% the same as the last place I was a trainer and there isn't much (so far) that is special for here.

That leaves me with forty hours to fill and little to fill it.  There are a requisite number of hours listening to practice teachings by other trainers, or train the trainer classes on things like learning styles or training expectations. We use YouTube videos to bring people back from break so I spent a couple hours today building a YouTube library (suggestions welcome for funny PG rated under five minute videos!).

To make matters worse, it's been even harder to be at work this week because the weather has been amazing! The last couple of weeks, when I was off work, were gray, rainy and generally crappy. I started work on Monday and it was in the 60's and sunny and lovely.  It's been that way all week, into the 70's. This weekend it's supposed to be 57 and rainy.  That's proof that God created man (if that's what you believe) just to entertain himself and have a laugh.

Working with my contracting company (they hire and pay me to work at the healthcare facility but I still have to interview with the facility) was tough this go around too.  It took all week to finally get the everything they needed and vice versa.  I had to request timesheet submission information no less than four times.  I sent them back their start up packet and apparently missed a couple signatures.  I actually think two of the forms had been left out of the first packet but whatever.

I'm once again a working stif which does mean that weekends are significant again. With that, I'm off to daydream about making the most of my measly two days sans work.

Not a Myth?

When I lived in Indonesia the locals swore that everyone got sick at change of season.  It's because it's (enter adjective here that is a change from what it just was - hotter, drier, wet, cool, etc). I didn't really believe it, just as I didn't believe my Guatemalan house mother when she said I'd get sick because I walked around the house barefoot. Baaah, old wive's tales!

Spring seems to have sprung in the Pacific Northwest and I'm sick. 25 is also sick with a cough, aches and flu like symptoms.  Two other trainers I'm working with are both sniffling and sneezing in class and I just found out my sister got sick over the weekend as well.

It could be that my allergies started the same way you start a race -with a bang and all at once- but that seems less likely.  I can't seem to draw in oxygen through both nostrils at the same time, and usually only one if I'm lucky.  I have sneezed no less than a dozen times.  Due to both the previous points, I've been fighting a headache.  I can't get my ears to pop and find it difficult to focus. 

Maybe there is something to the "change of seasons". The temperature has increased a whopping eight to ten degrees as it is supposed to hit 70 later in the week.  It seems early for hayfever but I've read a couple of news stories that report earlier and more severe pollen seasons due to climate change.

It's amazing how I take breathing for granted until I can't.  Such a "simple task" when not sick becomes the most strenuous, difficult thing to do in the world. On that note, I'm off to pop a zinc lozenge and find some menthol rub.

Boston

I know I may catch hell for this but I've got to ask: In the wake of the Boston bombing (which I have elected not to talk about), Facebook blew up (bad, unintentional pun) with people posting "I'm praying for everyone in Boston", "Pray for Boston", etc. How many people who put those sentiments out there actually pray?  I don't pray.  I'm not praying for Boston.  I'm not praying for them the same way I'm not praying for anyone else, not just to be especially spiteful.  I understand, as a society, we generally lack the words to deal with death.  That's a conversation for another day because we use euphemisms and catch-alls to talk about it. I drove by a local church who's reader board said "Pray for Boston" and I thought well, it's a church so that makes sense.  On the other hand, I saw several people post something similar on FB.  These are people that I know have no religious affiliations so it left me scratching my head.

Also, at what point does an incident become a national tragedy to be forever and ever memorialized? The bombing in Boston was horrible. Three people died.  It is getting lots more coverage than a bus wreck that kills nineteen. Or the bombing in Somalia last week that killed 28.  I'm sure there's an element of the homeland vs elsewhere. Anything that happens in the US gets lots of media coverage simply for that reason. Most people can't be asked to know where Somalia is, let alone what happens there. I can understand the coverage after Superstorm Sandy because that impacted tens thousands of people and had a final cost of tens of billions of dollars. There was a huge explosion in Texas the same day as the Boston bombing that killed fourteen people (so far, which is eleven MORE than Boston), yet I haven't seen more than one or two headlines about it. I won't get started on the fact there was another earthquake in China today that has a death toll of over 208 so far and is the latest in a series of quakes that are possibly triggered by man.  Instead, Boston has been inescapable on the internet, the radio, facebook, etc, etc, etc.

I suppose the bombing is getting lots of play for a similar reason that a plan crash does.  It's out of the ordinary. Bombing don't happen everyday (well, outside of Afghanistan and Iraq) so regardless of the size of the bomb or the number of affected, it's a rarity. It also sells headlines because it prays on people's insecurities. The media can feed the beast that is born shortly after an event. A beast that feeds on information, pictures, interviews, however important or superfluous and who's life the media tries to extend.

After events like this, especially when it happens in the US, it doesn't take long for the public's bloodlust to reach a peak. In cases like Boston, where the suspects flee and died or are seriously injured in a hail of gunfire and tactical maneuvers, the bloodlust is quickly quenched. It means that there isn't a wait for a trial, sentencing and a slow moving judicial system. It also means that there isn't any information gleaned, no insight gained, no knowledge that might prevent any of this from continuing to happen.

I didn't have a visceral reaction to this attack, much as I haven't for the attacks I see on international soils. I ponder the why's, the how's and the what next's. It leaves me with more questions than answers and mostly about who we are as a species, as a culture, as individuals.

Apparently I don't suck at life

Or I just suck in temporary spurts.

I'm posting writing this on Sunday and posting it late on Monday because

DUM    DA     DUMMMMMMMM

I'm at work at the time I would usually be posting this. The interesting thing about working as a contractor in the field I do (Electronic Medical Records Trainer) is that the work comes and goes.  I know someone who has been consistently employed over the last twelve months at three different positions. I know a couple women who I worked with one one project, had each worked on one since and and are each currently employed on a third, with periods of worklessness in between. I seemed to have the least luck with work.  From October until March I worked an average of two weeks each month, though not evenly distributed. It sounds great, only working about half the time, but that also means less income and a lot less consistent income.

These projects tend to have high levels of chaos, miscommunication, confusion, and flexible timelines. As a contractor one must get accustomed to this very quickly. In the last three months, the three biggest projects I was put in for all had major changes to their timelines which changed the staffing needs and urgency. I was submitted as a candidate by two different firms (for different projects) and more than once for each project. Again and again I was told their needs had changed, they were postponing the projects, yadda, yadda.  I wrote before that interviewing is like dating and again it proves to be.  There was lots of hope and prepping for a company that just wasn't ready and it all turned out to be for naught. Then I got a call on Friday for a phone interview.  wait, wait, wait then rush!

I'd reckon that a part of the reason I got the job is not only that I have applicable experience but that I am a local candidate and can start Monday. I am not going to assume that's the only reason. I am going to make the most of the opportunity and show them what a great trainer I am.  I've been told the job could go through the end of the year.  I want to be on the team that are there until the end. More information but probably a little less first while I adjust to being (happily) employed again!

* Note added Monday evening - First day went very smoothly, I even knew one of the other trainers from a previous project. It was unfortunate that it was a sunny beautiful day and I was in a room without so much as a window. It was doubly unfortunate that either I'm getting a head cold OR allergy season started like a piano landing on my head.  D'oh!

Negativity

Why is it that one negative remark can outweigh ten compliments? Why is it that a difficult patch in one part of my life bleeds over to everything else?

Humans seem to be programmed to focus on the negative. It's easy to recall the awful thing a kid in your class said to you all the way back in fourth grade.  It's much tougher to forget it.  Look at the issues we have with anorexia, bulimia, and plastic surgery addiction.  We have multiple news channels, many of which run news 24 hours a day and the vast majority of it is horrible.  You could fill your days with nothing other than stories of rape, murder, terrorism and political scandal/ineptitude. Sure, there was the two and a half minute story about the dog that rescued a cat but does that make up for the other 1,437.5 minutes for tragedy and mayhem? It extends into Facebook, into our conversations and inevitably into our consciousness.


People are more often negative to each other too.  That couples with the long lasting memories of those interactions.  I can remember the messages on an online dating site where the guy was clearly being a dick.  It ruffles my feathers when someone is obnoxious to me (or someone else) in a store or cuts me off driving. Sure, some of those incidents pass as part of the chaos of living in a heavily populated society. Other incidents mean I stay ruffled for the rest of the day. Even a compliment doesn't sufficiently soothe a hurt.


Granted, life can't be all Mariners wins and cold beers on sunny afternoons. But how often do we identify ourselves by pain, suffering or frustration? Mariners fans, and Seattle sports fans in general, are long suffering and we're usually the first to say so.  The best music and art was created from heartbreak and hard times. If things are going well at work and you ask "How's work?" I'll likely say "Fine" but if it's not going well, grab a cup of coffee and I'll give you the whole run down. We perpetually remember tragic events. Year after year the flags are lowered, the world stops to recognize the victims and their families. At the rate we're going, between old incidents and new ones, we'll be lowering the flags daily. My tragedies have all been personal ones.  I didn't lose a family member in a bombing or terrorist attack but I'd imagine that at some point I'd want to be known as more than victim number 1857. At what point does remembering prevent moving forward?

I digress. You may have noticed I write more, more passionately and more animatedly when things are going wrong than when they are going right.  For several years now I've tried to really note the positives in my life, even when most of it is circling the drain, yet I often find myself incapable of halting the cycle. It seems to have it's own life force.  After a couple days, when it's run it's course, then I'm back to normal, but I'll be damned if I can't short circuit it sooner.

On that note, go compliment someone. Make it someone you know and a total stranger. Smile when you greet someone or are greeted. And go forth, for better or worse, because it beats staring at a computer screen alone all day.