A New Arrival

25 and I are happy to announce that we're . . .

brewing.

For any of you sillies who thought I was announcing a pregnancy, shame on you.  You obviously don't know me at all! Haven't you read my rants about children, and everyone having children, and posting about their children, and blah blah blah children?

We took the plunge a couple months ago and started homebrewing.  Much like a pregnancy, we didn't want to tell anyone until we were sure that we wouldn't lose the batch. It's been a slow process of telling friends and family.  Introducing them to what we made.  Talking about the techniques and ingredients.

Weiz was from a Brewer's Best kit. She was all Amber LME (liquid Malt Extract) and Hallertau hops pellets.

Our first beer was a Weizenbier.  She was a beautiful 4.6% amber colored wheat beer with a slight cloudiness that one wants in a wheat beer.  She has great fruity esters of peach/apricot/pit fruits and some nicely complicated flavors. Not much sediment in the bottles and great clarity.

Just like any first born,  we made some mistakes. It's possible that the fruity esters came from contamination (more than one great beer has been created by accident).  After bottling her, we put the bottles in boxes, in the garage, protected from light as we'd read was important.  Just about the time we did that, the weather started cooling off.  We didn't know that below about 62 degrees, the yeast becomes inactive and won't carbonate the beer.  In conclusion, we have great tasting flat beer. My take is that I'd rather have a great beer with no bubbles than a crappy bear with lots of bubbles.  25 on the other hand tends to like highly carbonated beers with lots of little bubbles so he was a bit disappointed.

The feedback from friends who are drinker and non-beer drinkers has been pretty good.  They all like the fruity complicated flavor thing.  They acknowledge that it's flat but seem to echo my sentiments about good beer-no bubbles as the bettern option.

While we drink our way through the 22 12oz and 9 22oz bottles that were the Weizenbier, we brewed again.  Our second is an English Pale Ale.  She was from a kit as well and she's made of Fuggles and Goldings hop pellets, LME plus some Dry Malt Extract and even Caramel Malt to steep. EPA was bottled last week Wednesday.  It should be roughly the same ABV.  Slightly darker in color and a tiny bit less cloudy. She still need another week of bottle aging before we open a test bottle. We were more efficient and drew 25 12oz and 10 22oz bottles.

Batch three is an Irish Stout we've named Mick, after a character in Hell on Wheels. He's still in secondary fermentation and will probably be bottled next week, then three plus weeks of bottle conditioning.  He was some LME, roasted barley, flaked barley, Northern Brewer hops (not pellets a first for us), two packets of liquid yeast (another first).  He's pristine and the last of the yeast is settling out now.

Like any proud creator, photos to follow. The biggest question at the moment is what to brew next?

How Would I Know If It's Analog or Digital?

In addition to the baby shower last weekend, 25's step bro announced, via 25's sis, that he and his wife are pregnant.  I won't go in to the fact that it's bizarre that Zoo, 25's sis, was the one to tell us, not the step bro, even though he and 25 have lived together and been family for about 12 years. I also won't go in to what I think of step bro and wife because who knows who reads this thing.

Instead, I wonder why people have kids.  What possesses someone to decide to give over their body to a parasitic creature that will warp said body in ways that means it will never be the same?  To have a kid whom they will have to pay for from now until the end of time.  To have a baby that will cry incessantly and ruin any future good night's sleep or gourmet meal. To willingly decide to be chained to a place, a budget, another person (the other 'creator', not to mention said child) in some way or another for, in most cases, the rest of ones life.

I'm 31.  I've never heard it tick. You know, the biological clock all women are supposed to have and fear once they hit the time in their life when CHILD BEARING MUST TRUMP ALL, because time is running out.  Nnoooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! 

Maybe I've spent too many years taking care of and educating kids that other people have screwed up beyond belief. I'm surprised school teachers ever have kids of their own. The saving grace of dealing with other people's kids is that they are other people's kids.  If it's sick, crying, generally being unpleasant, I can hand it back.  I got to go from the loud helter-skelter of work with kids, to a home that is quiet and clean, not the reverse.  I can go out as late as I want any night of the week, I can. spend my salary on things I want, I . . .  I digress. 

Maybe I'm waiting until I'm 'ready', though I suspect most people who've had kids would be the first to say you never really are ready.  I am definitely not financially ready for kids. I can't imagine having to pay for diapers and food and doctor's visits, and . . . and . . .and. . .ad nauseum while I still have debts. That being said, if only the debt free had children, we wouldn't be dealing with over population on the planet

I don't want to give up three day Bumbershoot weekends, and spur the moment camp trips and about a million other things. Many call that selfish or spoiled behavior but isn't it smarter to think and say those things, than to have a kid and resent it for keeping you from having the life you want? I've seen it happen first hand and it isn't pretty.  Everyone connected to that parent-child relationship is miserable.

I wonder what percentage of people who have kids felt an urge or desire to be a parent/to have kids. Some deep-seated need to sire an offspring, to nurture it to adulthood. I haven't had that pang or twinge.  I don't know what it feels like. I can't imagine it either come to think of it. Or do most people become parents accidentally, without a pang or forethought. Does that more about why so many people are lousy parents and so many kids are dysfunctional than anything?

25 and I have talked about this and we're on the same page.  We're leaving the door open a crack.  We may want kids someday but at this point we are both happy we don't have kids and don't want them now. Knowing that I won't disappoint him because I don't want kids, that we don't have an awkward, potentially relationship ending conversation awaiting us in the abyss that is the future relieves a lot of anxiety and fear. We've talked about the societal convention and expectation, about the shortage or resources and overpopulation that breeding has created, about people we know who are parents.  We both agree that at this point, we don't need to copy our DNA forward to lead a fulfilling, happy lives.

I'd be very interested to see comments from people who have kids, who don't, those who want them, and those who don't. Why did you decide to procreate?