Please read this article from Java Javakini paper. It is available in paper and e-copies. I have added a link here: http://www.jakartajavakini.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&layout=blog&id=99&Itemid=63.
If you read this article and find that it is all logical and you will put them into use starting tomorrow, then stop reading now. I have given you useful information and you can be on your way.
If you read that article and found yourself shaking your head, giggling or muttering "HUH?" or "What the heck?", please read on.
Let me start with a quick explanation of my situation here. I have many friends who are covered under the same umbrella. Unfortunately, I have realized, only after moving here, that Asian men aren't my cup of tea. I know ladies from many a Western land that have Indonesian or Asian boyfriends and are content. I find that on many levels, I am not drawn to them. Physical attraction to Asian men is rare for me, and even when it does occur I find we lack a common language. Difficulties in communicating, differences in religion, upbringing and expectations provide more enough hurdles and I'm tired and skeptical before I've even started the race. That leaves Western men. Here's my break down. Of the relatively few "white" guys who make it to Jakarta:
40% come with a wife/girlfriend/family as they were moved here by their company or
of the remaining 60%:
85% are into Asian women for a whole host of reasons that could be it's own blog entry.
5% are gay and
10% are into Western women.
So if we use a sample of 1000 men, that's 400 are spoken for, 510 are not interested in me, 20 are headed to Thailand and 40 are into "my kind". That makes for slim pickins. Plus you have to weed out the jerks, liars, assholes and losers. When you get to the few that might be remaining, they have their pick of the litter, as there seem to be more bule (foreign) women that want bule guys than vice versa.
That being said, my girlfriends and I spend a inordinate amount (compared to what or who I do not know) of time talking about and looking for men. I stumbled upon the above article this week, otherwise it would have provided for hilarious reading while sharing a drink with my girls on Valentine's Day.
Whether its PC or not, I believe much of my ridicule of this article stems from the fact that, based on the names, it was written by two Indonesians. If you don't live here, you won't get why that's important but nonetheless my issues with this article are as follows:
#1 - Make sure you smell good - this really deserves to be first?
#2 - Go on an alternative date - Taman mini is about the only alternative date available. It's an "amusement park" and I use that term loosely, that showcases all the parts of Indonesia on one grounds. I'd love to go bowling (the alley in Senayan closed recently), play mini golf or twelve other things I could do in other places. Give me more than two suggestions and I might make it work.
#4 - Stay in Shape -Basic enough that it doesn't really need a mention
#5 - wear shag shoes (for women) - why is this only for women? And while not obligatory, 99% of Jakarta does anyway.
|courtesy of amazingdata.com. Do they count as shag?|
#8 - stock blue pills - Unless my date is 50 - 60+ (which he shouldn't be), hopefully this wouldn't be necessary and if it is, it's that a red flag?
#9 - go on a weekend away - this would work if you are in a relationship, not looking for one.
#10 - Learn from romantic films - THIS IS THE ONE I TAKE MOST ISSUE WITH!!! No one, anywhere, ever, should watch a rom-com and "learn" something from it. What is there to take away from Casablanca? Boy gets girl, boy loses girl, boy regains girl, and loses her again? Or Love Actually which tracks about six different relationships with all kinds of issues. Life does not end happily ever after or wrap up in 90 minutes.
|courtesy of filmguide.wikia.com|
#13 - learn a foreign language - In a country where almost everyone speaks at least two if not three or more languages, I think this was more a reason to use "cunning linguist" in the article.
#14 - Pimp your ride - see #11
|courtesy of fastcoolcars.com|
|courtesy of bellespics.eu|
|courtesy of pixiq.com. SOOOO SEXYYYY!|
#21 - Crash a high society gathering (WWJD?) then #22 - Go to Church (ahh, that's WWJD) and #23 Try speed dating. These are all on the heels of #20 above (me shaking my head in disbelief).
#28 - Get a new job - Looking for love is a great reason to leave the stability of employment for the unknown.
#31 - Be an instant celebrity - If deciding to be one were all that was necessary, wouldn't we all be famous and getting laid?
#34 - Join a dating site - I have done this before, with moderate success. I find it pointless here as all the men are white and all the women are Asian and they are all looking for the other and not me (white female). There are some Indonesian men looking for white women, but again - not what I'm looking for.
#35 - Collect great pickup lines - This may often work but what gets me is the example they give :Do you like pizza?" immediately after saying the pickup lines should be witty and subtle. HAHA, doesn't get wittier than that!
#36 - Don't give mixed signals and #37 - Move on - are much easier said than done.
#39 - Avoid Malls - I rant on a regular basis that all there is to do in this bloody city is go to the mall, or go eat and drink. If not the malls, then where?
|courtesy of thesocietypages.com|
#42 - Be a poet - The rest of the rationale is where I get lost. Its odd and ridiculous.
#44 - Be generous - Because people will only date you if you give them things and you should only date someone if they do.
#46 - Learn how to juggle - after the rest of this list I thought they meant literally. No, instead you need to learn to have many lovers and consider polygamy.
#47 - Get inked - The dumbest reason ever to get a tat.
|courtesy of dailyhaha.com. DOUBLE SUPER SEXY!|
And lastly #50 - Read this list.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry as this may be more indicative of the dating scene here than I want.