Do I generate my own magnetic field?

For this blog, I owe creative inspiration to my mom. It's become a long running joke between us that I ruin technology like no one else. There's been another bout of "Melissa as the technological Bermuda Triangle" over the last couple months.

couresty of superphysics.netfirms.com.  I imagine my magnetic field looks like this.

I roughly estimate that in the last six years I've gone through two laptops (I'm on the third), a hard drive (on the second), two i-pods, several cameras and more headphones than I can remember.   I believe most technology was built with planned obsolescent in mind.  Even if you buy the best digital camera available now, in two months it will quickly be on it's way to the rubbish bin.

My sister is usually quick to hop on to new technology.  She implores why I don't have a _______ yet, and ______ could be anything from a model cell phone to a computer program.  I always wait several versions, waiting for the manufacturers to realize what they screwed up and fix it in the successive models.  Great example was the i-phone that was released last year that couldn't make phone calls.  Seems like that might be a requisite for something called an i-PHONE!!!

As much as I love music,  it wasn't until generation 15 or so that I got an i-pod.  Last week I dropped my beloved 120gb classic i-pod off for a battery replacement.  In Indonesia that mean that you will actually be getting a new i-pod of the same model.  My old one went out after a power surge at the crap hole boarding house I was staying at before. That power surge also blew out my blackberry, of which all the innards have been replaced. My mother very kindly lent me her old i-pod, a skinny one that holds a whopping 125 songs.  I scoff but I would have gone crazy the last month on the back of the ojek without it.

courtesy of methodshop.com  The frown is how I felt. The battery went out on my so I didn't even get this icon.

Now my blackberry is going out again.  I'd been in Indonesia about three months when my first phone went missing.  I replaced it with another cheap brick phone and kept that one when I upgraded to a Blackberry last August.  The blackberry was stolen in October and I bought a used one from a friend.  This is my current phone.  It's at least three models old now,  has had the screen, battery and circuitry replaced once and spent three nights in rice drying out (dessicant is my current favorite word).  I had a leaky water bottle in my purse the first time, the second was a fall into a small amount of water that couldn't even be termed a puddle.  The third time in the rice was Sunday night.  I don't know what happened to my phone so I thought I'd stick it in rice over night anyway.  Monday I had to reinstall several programs and blackberry messenger still isn't working well.  The keys are also sticky.  I either get five i's or none.  Looks like I'll be phone shopping again shortly.

courtesy of bgr.com

When I went home for the Christmas holidays the internet went out.  Actually, within 48 hours of my arrival the router went out.  Not just the internet signal, my mom had to buy a new router.  She swears I caused it.  I think it should be remembered that I was the good luck charm when we went Christmas shopping and found stellar parking spots but I'm not sure if they cancel each other out.  Printing the final copy of the new science book after returning from holidays was nearly impossible, as are many technically related tasks at work. Printing, internet and access to the server are all out of service on an at least twice weekly basis.

courtesy of cabq.com.  Wave of the future?

I don't think, however that I generate my own gravitational pull.  On the day I do, someone must say something!

Barbeques are not all the same

A week ago Saturday we had a housewarming.  "We" was a friend who lives in the same building and I.  She'd been in these apartments for over a year, but had recently changed to a different apartment (10th floor not 2nd).  I stayed in her old place for about five weeks before and after the holidays, but now have my own place there.

Based on the fact that neither of us could fit more than about four people in our respective apartments, we decided to use the pool area. It's a big beautiful pool, with a few chairs and tables scattered around and a tiny "grassy" patch.  Grass here isn't really grass, it's these funny individual green plants that are fairly resilient and you can walk on it. The invite said we'd be barbecuing but as we are just teachers, it was BYOB-Bring your own beverage.

The turn out was great, I think about twenty people turned up in all.  Some came late, others left early. The rest of us were there for the duration.  I'd been worried about the weather.  Jakarta has reminded us repeatedly lately that it's the wet season.  There was rain on Saturday, but it rained the best way possible; three five-minute intervals within an hour span.  It was like someone turning the faucet on and off.  Once we finally packed up and headed down to the pool, the rain stopped and didn't bother us again. It wasn't a sunny day, but it was bright and dry so I didn't complain.

We'd bought a little bbq.  This thing was about a eighteen inches high by maybe a foot across.  It was small to say the least.  I assembled it before going down to the pool.  We had briquettes and lighter fluid as well. I wasn't worried because I used to bbq in the States.  Yea, things are different in Indonesia as you can tell from just my blog alone.  It took three people an hour, multiple efforts and several strategies before we gave up and I cooked the sausages upstairs.  With paper, with cardboard, with more and then less lighter fluid, fanning the flames, briquettes stacked up and then less so. An Aussie friend assured us (two North American girls) that he could get it lit because he was Aussie and male.  Didn't happen.

courtesy of topnews.net.nz.  My barbeque at home looked a bit like this and was waist high. 

courtesy of csagroup.com.  Barbeques can also look big and fancy like this.

courtesy of zedomax.com.  Or even mammoth like this. 

courtesy of alibaba.com.  This is what ours looked like, standing about knee high and it was just as flimsy as it looks.

While I did have a great time, I was happy to see so many people come out, I was the host and therefore exhausted by the end.  When I host events it's about making sure the people I invite have a good time.  I cooked food, I mixed drinks, I handed out food, I cleaned up trash, etc, etc.  That was very much the case after this bbq.  I prepped food Friday night, got things packed and ready Saturday morning, shuttled everything down stair (four of us did), and then hosted.  By the time people were leaving at 8 or 830, I was pooped!

I won't go into the details, but the night ended really poorly.  I was convinced to go out to a dance club and the night went drastically downhill.  I'm not sure if I feel emboldened to have another pool party since this one was such a hit, or if I dread having another due to the work involved and the residual sour feelings this one left in my mouth.

And now to return you to your regularly scheduled program

Apologies once more as I haven't managed to blog regularly.  There's enough that's happened in the last week that I'll break it into at least three blog, in no specific order.

Monday brought another trip to Singapore for a work visa.  I'm still unsure why we have to leave Indonesia to get the visa, though someone told me that it works that way in most countries.  Since this is the only country I've gotten a work visa in, I cannot attest to that.  Most people go to Singapore once a year at most.  In fourteen months I've made three trips now.  I'm not necessarily complaining.  It's nice to get out of smelly, chaotic Jakarta for clean, orderly Singapore.  The food in Little India alone is worth the trip.  The shopping is different too.  I made it to an Ikea there.  It's the only place I could find butter knifes. I am now the owner of three. Don't ask me why Jakarta doesn't have butter knives. When I had this discussion with a friend she pointed out that I should just use a spoon.  I said the spoon wouldn't fit in the jar.  That's what the handle is for she said.  Right, so the I can grab the handle five minutes later only to be cover in peanut butter.  I'm more and more convinced that this country was founded on the principle of deciding what is logical and then doing the opposite.

Singapore has not one but TWO Ikeas.  Jealous!

Going to Singapore again reminded me of the incident that provoked me to start this blog.  Again I was the only non-Korean in the group.  I followed not by understanding what was going on, but from a heightened understanding of body language.  The longer you live in places that you can't understand what is said, the better this ability gets. I had to explain three times that I didn't want to do the tour since it would be entirely in Korean, which I don't speak, and I'd been to Singapore twice previously. At that, I was told to get out quickly and meet at 5pm, Airport terminal 3, gate 1. Right 5, 3, 1.  Got it. I had Ms. Kim's (no fake name needed) mobile number.

I went to Little India for lunch and shopping.  The kidney beans and dhal (lentils) that I bought would be warmly received by co-workers who promised to bring me a share of the results. I also stocked up on dhall and curry sauces for myself.  At 2 SGD per 500gm, it was a steal and worth lugging around all day. Then an MRT subway ride with two transfers to IKEA.  Butter knives, a frying pan, two items for a friend and a stop at the food center there made me a happy camper.  Carrying all the crap after didn't.

I arrived back at the airport at 4.  I figured early was better than late.  Plus I'd get my passport, process my Tax rebate, go to Duty Free for the required liquor purchase, grab a snack and be on my way.  Best laid plans.  The woman was 45 minutes late.  I tried to call, no luck.  Though my phone worked when I arrived, both smsing and bbm, neither were working by the end.  Luckily (I suppose) my flight was delayed from 1830 to 1900 and eventually to 1930 for departure.  This meant rushing to get things done and then hurrying to the gate only to sit and wait 40 minutes.  Sigh.  Nothing here is ever easy.

Though the office personnel who handle visas assure me that there isn't a problem with the visa, I'm unconvinced.  My visa says 12 month visa.  Start February 28, 2011, expiry May 29, 2011.  I'm told that's the processing window.  If I'm deported in four months, we'll know why. I made my concerns know to the administrative staff and my departmental head who is Korean.  They brushed it off.  As they did with my monetary complains.  We are the only school I know of that doesn't provide either the school car or money for a taxi to go to and from the airport.  I had to argue to get them to pay the airport tax (150,000Rp) and lunch (100,000Rp).  The taxis alone cost me about 300,000Rp.  Plus getting photos taken, another 75,000Rp.  It all boils down to one more way the school is about nickel and dime-ing us to death while pushing programs that we don't want or endorse but they spend heaps of money on.

Highlights of the trip were shopping, being reminded that usable public transport exists and seeing Michael Jackson.  At least he looked like him.  Down to the slightly too short pants, and sparkly white socks under his loafers. Maybe he had the plastic surgery and whitening treatments reversed?

BS at JIKS

Working in a foreign country is difficult and can be frustrating. Working with Indonesians in Indonesia as an American is a practice in patience and adaptability. One must learn to mosey not speed walk, to expect that anything you need done post haste will take twice as long as if you don't care when it's accomplished, to know that traffic and/or weather are excuses for anything from late arrive to a task not being completed, and understand that anything worth having done will require multiple requests and follow up.

That all being taken into consideration, now add another layer of confusion.  I work at a Korean school.  The misconception, or at least my preconceived notion, was that Koreans are much like the Japanese. Organized to a fault, businesses that run like well oiled machines, on time and above all efficient. That may be the case IN KOREA but it couldn't be farther from the truth here.  As an example, when I tell people I work with Koreans they expect that the kids are quiet and orderly and attentive.  

courtesy of facebook.com

If only.  The kids mostly grew up here and are firmly entrenched in Indonesian nanny society.

But I stray, back to chaos and frustration at work. I started in August and never got a contract.  I asked, I inquired, I queried, I even investigated. Anyone is a position higher than mine was subject to questioning.  In the end I was told that Koreans don't really believe in contracts, but they are required by the Indonesian government.  Since I was showing up and getting paid, I really shouldn't worry about anything.  Other than getting 1/2 the medical reimbursement since I was only there half the year, I was a regular member of staff.

Uuunnnntttttiiiiiilllllllllll January. We'd all been notified before holidays that we would be getting a raise when our new contracts came out in February.  Great! Merry Christmas!  It wasn't enough to keep up with inflation but it was something. Of course, what you say or do at one point has little to no bearing on any point in the future.  Upon return to class (which was still the end of 2nd semester 2010, not 1st semester 2011 which would start in February) we were told contracts were still in negotiations.  The teachers were standing together and either we all signed or no one did.  Unionization in a bastardized way.  I'm still in support of it.

February, the new school year.  And now the story has changed.
The conversation between the "Head of International Teaching" who is Korean, and I went a little like this:
Korean HoD: When you sign your contract you'll only get half the raise everyone else gets because you've only been here one term.

Me:WHAT?!?  

You did pass your probation without incident but . .   

What probation? 

It's in your contract.

I've never seen or signed a contract.

You what?

I asked and asked for a contract and never got one.

Ohhhh, hmmmm.

I show up and get paid but I've never even seen a contract.

Well, when you get this one it will only be for half the raise.

I'll talk to the native teacher head of English.

At which point we broke off because it was pointless.  Needless to say, after a week of negotiating, "mafia thug tactics" (not my term), passive aggressive threatening of my work visa and hours of waiting, I ended up signing, at half the pay raise because I needed to get my visa renewed, had just confirmed my apartment for six months and mostly I needed to be able to plan my life.

Last week and this week the issue has been meetings.  We had a meeting last Friday that ran and hour and a half and should have been sorted in 30-40 minutes.  Today we had a meeting to go over what the meeting next week will cover and to advise of a meeting on March 14th. In addition to being mostly useless, now they are redundant.

Deep breath, just accept the things I can not change and don't let them drive me mad.

A potential reason, or cause of, dating frustration in Jakarta

I have resisted, and had to work hard to do so, writing much about dating, personally or generally, in Indonesia.  I think, after finding this article, I can no longer keep silent.
Please read this article from Java Javakini paper.  It is available in paper and e-copies.  I have added a link here: http://www.jakartajavakini.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&layout=blog&id=99&Itemid=63.

If you read this article and find that it is all logical and you will put them into use starting tomorrow, then stop reading now.  I have given you useful information and you can be on your way.

If you read that article and found yourself shaking your head, giggling or muttering "HUH?"  or "What the heck?", please read on.

Let me start with a quick explanation of my situation here.  I have many friends who are covered under the same umbrella.  Unfortunately, I have realized, only after moving here, that Asian men aren't my cup of tea.  I know ladies from many a Western land that have Indonesian or Asian boyfriends and are content.  I find that on many levels, I am not drawn to them.  Physical attraction to Asian men is rare for me, and even when it does occur I find we lack a common language.  Difficulties in communicating, differences in religion, upbringing and expectations provide more enough hurdles and I'm tired and skeptical before I've even started the race.  That leaves Western men.  Here's my break down.  Of the relatively few "white" guys who make it to Jakarta:
40% come with a wife/girlfriend/family as they were moved here by their company or
of the remaining 60%:
85% are into Asian women for a whole host of reasons that could be it's own blog entry.
5% are gay and 
10% are into Western women.
So if we use a sample of 1000 men, that's 400 are spoken for, 510 are not interested in me, 20 are headed to Thailand and 40 are into "my kind". That makes for slim pickins. Plus you have to weed out the jerks, liars, assholes and losers. When you get to the few that might be remaining, they have their pick of the litter, as there seem to be more bule (foreign) women that want bule guys than vice versa.

That being said, my girlfriends and I spend a inordinate amount (compared to what or who I do not know) of time talking about and looking for men.  I stumbled upon the above article this week, otherwise it would have provided for hilarious reading while sharing a drink with my girls on Valentine's Day.

Whether its PC or not, I believe much of my ridicule of this article stems from the fact that, based on the names, it was written by two Indonesians.  If you don't live here, you won't get why that's important but nonetheless my issues with this article are as follows: 
#1 - Make sure you smell good - this really deserves to be first?
#2 - Go on an alternative date -  Taman mini is about the only alternative date available.  It's an "amusement park" and I use that term loosely, that showcases all the parts of Indonesia on one grounds.  I'd love to go bowling (the alley in Senayan closed recently), play mini golf or twelve other things I could do in other places.  Give me more than two suggestions and I might make it work.
#4 - Stay in Shape -Basic enough that it doesn't really need a mention
#5 - wear shag shoes (for women) - why is this only for women?  And while not obligatory, 99% of Jakarta does anyway.

courtesy of amazingdata.com.  Do they count as shag?

#7 - Master the Kama Sutra - Is this really something one should attempt alone?
#8 - stock blue pills - Unless my date is 50 - 60+ (which he shouldn't be), hopefully this wouldn't be necessary and if it is, it's that a red flag?
#9 - go on a weekend away - this would work if you are in a relationship, not looking for one.
#10 - Learn from romantic films - THIS IS THE ONE I TAKE MOST ISSUE WITH!!!  No one, anywhere, ever, should watch a rom-com and "learn" something from it.  What is there to take away from Casablanca? Boy gets girl, boy loses girl, boy regains girl, and loses her again? Or Love Actually which tracks about six different relationships with all kinds of issues.  Life does not end happily ever after or wrap up in 90 minutes.

courtesy of filmguide.wikia.com

#11 - get the latest gadgets - If someone hits on you because of the phone you have, it's probably not going to be a meaningful relationship.
#13 - learn a foreign language -  In a country where almost everyone speaks at least two if not three or more languages, I think this was more a reason to use "cunning linguist" in the article.
#14 - Pimp your ride - see #11

courtesy of fastcoolcars.com

#19 - Moustache Poeticque - This is misspelled as there shouldn't be a c in Poetique. There is no explanation and since the google lead me to photos like this one. I am still confused.

courtesy of bellespics.eu

#20 - Get Drunk - because this always improves your judgment and appeal. Notice it doesn't say "have a drink or two" but get DRUNK!

courtesy of pixiq.com.  SOOOO SEXYYYY!

 The next 3 aren't so much an issue as the order they are in that cracks me up:
#21 - Crash a high society gathering (WWJD?) then #22 - Go to Church (ahh, that's WWJD) and #23 Try speed dating.   These are all on the heels of #20 above (me shaking my head in disbelief).
#28 - Get a new job - Looking for love is a great reason to leave the stability of employment for the unknown.
#31 - Be an instant celebrity - If deciding to be one were all that was necessary, wouldn't we all be famous and getting laid?
#34 - Join a dating site - I have done this before, with moderate success.  I find it pointless here as all the men are white and all the women are Asian and they are all looking for the other and not me (white female). There are some Indonesian men looking for white women, but again - not what I'm looking for.

#35 - Collect great pickup lines - This may often work but what gets me is the example they give :Do you like pizza?" immediately after saying the pickup lines should be witty and subtle.  HAHA, doesn't get wittier than that!
#36 - Don't give mixed signals and #37 - Move on - are much easier said than done.
#39 - Avoid Malls - I rant on a regular basis that all there is to do in this bloody city is go to the mall, or go eat and drink.  If not the malls, then where?

courtesy of thesocietypages.com

#42 - Be a poet - The rest of the rationale is where I get lost. Its odd and ridiculous.
#44 - Be generous - Because people will only date you if you give them things and you should only date someone if they do.
#46 - Learn how to juggle - after the rest of this list I thought they meant literally.  No, instead you need to learn to have many lovers and consider polygamy.
#47 - Get inked  - The dumbest reason ever to get a tat.

courtesy of dailyhaha.com.  DOUBLE SUPER SEXY!

#49 - Nick someone else's lover - I can't wait until Karma comes back around.  If you are considering this, go back to #22.
And lastly #50 - Read this list.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry as this may be more indicative of the dating scene here than I want.

Back to the grind(ing) stone

After weeks of holidays that took me to new, fun, fantastic interesting places, I've had to settle back into life in Jakarta. I think my culture shock was almost greater coming back than when I first arrived.  During my first year here, I learned to put up with the flooding, the lack of dependability and reliability, the overpriced "american" foods and _________ (fill in the blank there's lots of options, horrendous traffic, torrential rains, etc, etc).  I went home and things worked as they were supposed to.  People drive between the lane markers and stop at red lights,  they don't push and shove, the lines at the market move quickly and orderly, and there's not a choking level of pollution in the air (For more information on pollution in Jakarta, see this detailed blog post) . Coming back and dealing with the city that can frustrate more often than it can soothe is a difficult transition.

The good news is that my new apartment makes life much more enjoyable.  I am paying slightly more than twice than I was before and it's worth every penny.  I am in a 33.5 sq. meter studio.  It's cute and well organized.  My apartment building has tennis and badminton courts, a huge pool, and a 24-hour grocery store. The best news is that it reduced my ojek time from 45 minutes each way to about 25.  It's also loads closer to Kemang, an area of the city which is great for going out.  AAANNNDDD Carla is my building mate.  We get to see each other everyday but still have our own apartments and our own spaces.

Coming back to Jakarta meant starting a new school year.  Most schools run their year September to June (or so).  JIKS starts in February and runs until December with a six week break in the summer.  It feels very different to have new kids at this time of the year, but the timing with the new calendar year, and coming off Christmas holidays seems to make sense. Last year I started mid year, after summer holidays at the beginning of the second semester.  It was a difficult start for many reasons and not the least of which was starting in the middle of the year.  With all new kids I have been able to set my rules and my classes the way I  want them. Now, just two weeks in to the year, they know the routine and the rules. I've set up a yellow card/ red card system like in football/futbol/soccer.  If they are breaking a rule they get a yellow card which is just a warning.  If they do it again they get a red card and that can mean lines or losing a sticker (which they can collect for privileges or prizes).  Don't write and tell me that footballers get TWO yellow cards, I know. For a 40 minute class they don't need two warnings. It's not perfect but it's much much much better than last year.

I also know better what to expect, how to handle the kids and also, retraining myself.  I have gotten accustomed to shouting to get their attention.  The combination of loud smokey bars, polluted air and going into both regularly has done a number on my voice.  My voice seems to fall between a husky phone-sex operator and a Phyllis Diller-style lifetime smoker. I drink tea, sometimes with lemon or honey, or Lo-Han-Kuo (a herbal Chinese concoction), I suck on vocalzone lozenges and drinks tons of water, yet I was still hoarse all day today.  Suggestions welcome as to the cause or the cure.  Part of my new school year plan has been to limit the amount of shouting I do.  Part of the problem is that I yell for fun and to get the kids hyped up, not just when they're too loud or in trouble.  I am getting better, but it's not a change that has been made automatic yet.

Penang

After spending three weeks at home and ten days in Hong Kong and Macau, I headed back "home" to Jakarta.  I arrived late Sunday night, worked Tuesday through Friday and at 03:00 on Saturday I was on my way to the airport again. By 07:00 I was heading toward Penang, Malaysia after a whopping hour of sleep.  I had planned a trip to Penang, through Krabi too Phiphi island and then out of Phuket but after the ramblings of the previous four weeks, I trimmed the trip and was happy for it.

I went to Penang after rave reviews from my friend Donna.  She's been there multiple times of the years and always enjoys it. It was nice and quiet in comparison to everywhere else I had been.  The weather was nice as it was cooler than Jakarta while not cold; it only rained twice - once for about five minutes and once for an hour.  There is a "downtown" central area called Georgetown and, like Macau, was built by and influenced by Europeans.  The buildings have been well maintained over the years and it makes for an aesthetically pleasing town.  I spent a lot of time walking around the Chinatown and Little India areas of Georgetown.  Roti Cani is always my favorite food in Malaysia.  It's an Indian flat bread (less bready that naan bread) served with curry sauce.  At between 0.80 and 1.00 MYR (Malaysian Riggits, running about three Ringgits to one USD), they make a fantastic and fantastically cheap snack.  I must have had close to a dozen.  By the end I was known at a little restaurant where I'd been several times.  Their tea tarik (or pulled tea, it's the color of red clay,  poured from arms length after adding condensed milk) was worth the trip too.

These were around town as explanations, put up when Georgetown because a UNESCO World Heritage site.

Penang, again like Macau, is a great example of a mixed society living harmoniously. Culturally and religiously, there are many factions on this small island.   I know it hasn't always been that way.  There was a monument to the war dead that included the Indo-Malay conflict. Now, the city's Muslims, Hindus and Buddhists all co-exist in very close proximity.  I saw temples for all those religions plus Christian and Catholic churches.  All the building were beautiful and impressive and only blocks apart. If there is tension between the groups, I didn't feel or notice it while I was there traipsing amongst them.

I found yet another cemetery, this one truly looking like it was being reclaimed by the jungle.  A couple of building in the middle of street blocks were also heavily hung in vines and plants whose roots had begun to break them apart. It was probably the smallest of those I'd seen in Asia but interesting in its variety.

Near the end I was definitely getting templed out and I'm not anxious to run out and find any more any time soon.  Bar none, the temples/churches/clan houses were beautiful but started to all look the same, much as Churches in Italy did after days and days of looking at them.  There were two the last day, a Burmese Buddhist Temple and a Thai Buddhist temple that looked different.  It was a beautiful sunny day and after weeks of being surrounded by people and having a travel buddy, I was happy for the solitude. 

This is on the Burmese Temple grounds (I think).

I hope to head to Penang again.  Nice smooth sidewalks, a decided lack of crowds and comfortable weather all appeal to me.  Not to mention I got to the temples but not the national parks or botanical gardens. The people were friendly without being rude or overbearing. The food was excellent and cheap.  In my time there I moved at my own pace, to my own tune and enjoyed it immensely.